Why does a person even fall into a dead end of personal growth in the first place? Most often this happens when they are in a comfort zone for a long time. It doesn’t feel right, it is damp and uncomfortable. But everything is certain, the buses run on schedule, the salary is paid every two weeks, there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of. And the fact that my boss is a monster that feeds on the blood of subordinates is nonsense. At least I have something to pay for the bills.
But the methods and ways of self-development are now becoming so popular that, willy-nilly, there is a temptation to change something. All the same negative attitudes oppose the desire to turn it into the life of your dreams. On one side of the scale is self-development, on the other - fear. Beliefs based on fear can take the following forms:
- “What will people think about me if I quit my job with a high salary and start selling fancy cakes?”;
- "Because of me, everyone will suffer - both family and friends";
- “A person that I love will go away from me”;
- “Bureaucracy and everything that has to do with taxes will kill any passion of mine”;
- "I will get an Ebola or go crazy."
Why are we so afraid when we are faced with something exciting? A person dreams of breaking the vicious cycle of their life and becoming happy with russian brides for marriage. In this case, none of these negative beliefs appear within the psyche itself. They are patiently implanted over the years by parents, teachers, religion, peers. These negative attitudes must be removed from your mind, like unnecessary rubbish, and disposed of as soon as possible. But how can you do this?
The next logical step is to replace negative information with positive statements. We assume that you have already defined the ultimate goal. For example, you would like to become an artist after your career as a lawyer. Then a positive statement about yourself will sound like this: “I am a great artist,” “I deserve to be admired by the public and by my peers,” “I am talented,” and so on. Obviously, at first, such words may seem like sheer nonsense. People are much more likely to talk about themselves in a negative way. “What a fool I was,” “I have been a lawyer for so many years and I don’t know anything about painting”, “I can’t change anything” ... Any methods of self-development that include working with positive affirmations are the necessary tools to regain lost self-esteem. In addition to telling yourself something good out loud, you can use various stickers that you can stick onto your refrigerator, a mirror, or a smartphone. You can also record yourself when you feel good and during the moments of happiness and play these tapes when you feel angry or depressed.
The method of positive thinking is often criticized, and there is a good reason for that. The fact is that a person that wants to apply it must be aware of quite a few things about it. First, no change happens instantly. Having visited the gym once, we cannot just walk out and tell ourselves: “Oh, now I have a beautiful body and I can enjoy life!”. In order to solve a task, we must visit it for at least a few months or even a year.
Secondly, in order to develop positive thinking, you need to take responsibility for your thoughts and actions. It is only an auxiliary tool to achieve goals. In this regard, positive thinking for the psyche is similar to the process of tuning a guitar.